Invasion

To the ants it may concern:
It is time to make an official declaration - the War is on. You have attempted to invade every room in my home. At first, I felt sorry for you and your armies. You wanted moisture. You only came in seeking water. It was still annoying, but I understood your attacks. But last night you went too far. You infiltrated my pantry and tried to commandeer my Chips Ahoy cookies. That was not a smart move. A swift moving battle ensued, much like all the others. I first wiped out your forces with my kill-on-contact-but-leave-no-harmful-residue-that-hurts-humans natural spray. Then, upon finding your point of entry, I pulled out the big guns. I poisoned that secret location so that you may never again use it to enter my home. You are a creative bunch. You have ventured into my home through doors and windows, electrical outlets, air conditioner vents, cracks in the floor, from the backs of cabinets and the spaces around pipes. I am certain you are living in my walls, but I tell you now...THIS IS MY HOME - YOU ARE NOT WELCOME. Consider this your final warning.